almost done reading this book...if you haven't had the pleasure, visit your library or local bookstore...i should be done tomorrow so don't spoil the ending for me...
I'd be around more often if the other guys were. Den and Tom dont post much here and I think Lemmie cant figure out how to log on... he he... I was checking it every day. Now one dissapointment a week seems more like it for me. Hell, I'd like to take a crack at some more projects, I'm bored musically, realizing now the only thing I did actively was make podcasts.
I just don't have anything to offer musically right now. I'm practicing once a week with this start-up, trying to get ready for festival season, but having a really difficult time staying motivated. I've been giving serious thought to quitting playing altogether.
As for non-musical endeavors, some of us (like me) turn to facebook where there's a bigger audience.
As long as you dont take yourself seriously when you write that Tom, all will be fine. I bet you cant count the number of times you said you'd quit forever and then made some serious gains. I've done the same, it comes with the talent I guess. All we need is one spark and boom... the machine starts up again. Taking breaks is healthy, getting down on it sucks.
I'm concerned about Rob and Mel. Hopefully we can make it easier for them, I'll check into it.
I suggest one of us take the time each week to post something fun, music or otherwise....politics? I guess it's ok when something big happens but otherwise I'm finding it a rather boring endless bickering out there.
Matt you should post what you sent me via email... that shit is HOT
I understand the lack of desire to play because when I sit behind the kit I can't do the things I'd like to be able to do or even the things I used to do well because of lack of talent or just practice. As Jeff said, as long as I don't take it serious it doesn't bother me too much. It's easy for me because most of my time is spent with family and work leaving little idle time.
I can't, however, relate to the lack of desire to listen. I've recently found more time to listen and thanks to Den's contribution and some real good suggestions from Matt, I've experienced a surge so to speak.
I still fantasize about bringing my kit to the house when the kids start moving out so that I can play when I get the urge or maybe getting a small electric set like Matt suggested. Maybe someday, sighhhhhhhhh.
wow, tom...i mean, i'm in as bad a funk as i've ever been in, but NEVER have i considered giving up playing or listening...i have music in my head even when there's none playing...it's a refuge for me...
that being said, everyone is different...and as a fellow bass player, i know how boring it can be playing/practicing that instrument by yourself...maybe that's it? hmmmmmmmm...all i can suggest is that you do what FEEL you should do...not what you "need" to do...not what you "should" do...at our age, i think we all know that regret is a BITCH! fortunately, music is something that you come back if you decided to take a break from it...
jba...more projects would be fun, but i'm way too self-absorbed and funked up...there are some enormous changes on the horizon for matt the bass player and committing to anything at this point is impossible...
as for the stuff i emailed jba...i am digging it pretty hard...i've got two different 4-song EPs from the band and i'm suitably impressed...even my musically famous friend/teacher jim tullio was digging on it...i'll post something by the end of the week...
my business is all but dead..the extended drought in bank lending has killed 4 potential projects, two that i was working on, and 3 that were under construction...i spent my december as a driver's assistant with UPS, which meant i drove around a golf cart in high-end custom home development and delivered everyone their xmas gifts...it was very cold and many days it rained, which sucked out loud...these days i'm making extra cash as a medical guinea pig, but that runs out in a couple of weeks...SO...
i met with a firm out of state...they are looking for an experienced and mature sr. architect, and they like the idea of me bringing my hospitality clientele to give them another niche market...they currently do airports, schools, healthcare/hospitals, and some local gov't buildings...
i go back for a second meeting in mid-february, this time with all of the owners (two partners, who i already met with, and two other guys with limited ownership stake)...it was a positive first meeting and i think the only obstacle is going to be salary...i'm optimistic...
for those who are curious, the "state" is not one that any of you live in, though i have talked with a firm in FL that looks to be a long shot...
this is a big part of my funk, but certainly not all of it...
Hang in there (not a cruel attempt at humor) dude. You have the tools to adapt to the economy and YOU WILL rebound. The one thing to try to focus on is never loose hope and submit to despair.
Now for the humor - any chance the medical experimentation is for weight loss drugs?
Sorry about all that Matt I wish there was something I could do. However, it seems you have some good options on the horizon which is a lot more than most people have. I think you've done what you had to do, and with good judgement.
Being the hard working guy you are, in the end, all this will make sense and you'll be in a better place, eventually understanding why it all went down as it did, and you'll actually be thankful!
As far as your other "funk", missing JBAhole and doing a 10 day mental detox tour in NJ was enough for me to know you got some serious issues going down. If there is anyway I can help, even if it's just talking or whatever, I will always have time for you.
As far as the ever enigmatic Tom: Is it possible your sate of mind is related to the short days this time of year? I can promise you this is only temporary, you'll be back.
Tammy gets the seasonal thing, so she's pretty down these days too.
Mine seems more permanent. The doc says I need three things: therapy, exercise, and drugs. I can't afford therapy and I hate exercise. And I'm afraid I'm asking too much of my drugs.
I'm in pretty much constant pain. I've gone down hill fast starting in Dec and now I'm taking 3-4 Lortabs a day and not able to sleep through the night. I have degeneration of my C5 disc in my neck (there is bone growing into the nerve) and it’s causing pain in my shoulder and arm and constant “pins and needles” in my index finger and thumb. If I keep medicated it’s tolerable, otherwise I’d literally cry. I’m on a waiting list to have surgery from an endoscopic specialist in Pittsburg, but I have no idea how long it will be, hopefully within a couple of months. Until then I have to walk around basically with my chin on my chest to keep from agitating the nerve, looking more like a retard than I already do!
The good news is the surgery is pretty simple and it will be nearly an out-patient procedure with one night stay in the hospital. In the end, there will be no permanent damage and hopefully I’ll be back to normal within a couple of weeks.
Also, in the beautiful month of Dec. my boss told me he doesn’t have funding for me past Feb 1st. Imagine, 17 years of service and somebody tells you 45 days and you’re out. To make a long story short, I was freaked out for a couple of weeks and then found an opportunity with another investigator in the same department. However, it’s studying something totally different (diabetic neuropathy). I started before the holidays and was able to secure 2 years funding with the new lab. All said, I’m making the same money and learning something new. Not exactly what I had in mind scientifically, but I’ll take it, at least for now, and try to do my best in a field I basically have no interest in. However, I’m happy to have a job, and maybe I’ll grow to like it.
Jeff, Stop taking that growth supplement and you won't have to worry about bones growing in places they shouldn't be. Hope things at C5 get worked out. My L4/L5 are doing fine since my issue 2-years ago and I actually managed to keep the exercise regiment going. Still taking the fish oil sup you recommended.
Good luck in the new field. There's no lack of diabetes issues out there so there might be some job security.
Tom, I completly agree with your doctor. My health insurance paid for psychotherapy with a co-pay of $20 or so. Your's doesn't cover it????? And if it doesn't can you switch providers?
As far as exercise, I was exactly like you 12 years ago (hated even the idea). Not only that, I was smoking 2 packs a day. Nevertheless, I started running every other day and the first month totally sucked. However, after a while when your body starts responding it becomes absolutely wonderful. Today there is no way I would consider living without it. You have to change over the water in your body and work out your cardiovas. sys. in order to feel the best you can, and you wont know what that feeling is until you stick with it for a while.
That initial 4 weeks of hell has paid off time and time again now for 12 years in every way imaginable including good sleep, good appitite, and a general feeling of strength and confidence. I'd say the first month was a VERY small price to pay.
There are so many things you can do to exercise, you should never be bored either.
This is my bid to ask that you try doing something at least 20 min every other day. Do an experiment and see what happens after the first month.
"There are so many things you can do to exercise, you should never be bored either."
bicycling: boring running: boring walking: even more boring weightlifting: oh so boring! swimming: wet and boring stairmaster: stupid and boring golf: expensive and boring
Hey Tom, I'm right there with you. I don't find exercise entertaining either.
What worked and continues to, for me is doing my exercises in that 1 to 2-hour period that I get most nights before bed. Usually I'm on the floor doing the stretches and core strengthening routine I was taught for my back, while the rest of the family sits on the couch munchin' on chips and snacks.
I still get to watch what's on and participate in conversations. There's no isolation and if I'm watching something interesting (Fox News or C-span) it's easy to forget how long I've been at it. Not much cardio, I admit but it's better than nothing for me.
My apologies for not being 'round the Javelin blog. My reasons are simple...I don't like it. It's too much trouble to find the last thread where a comment was left. I know JBA put lots of work into it and I do appreciate it, but I just don't like the layout. Web Forums where the most recent comment goes to the top is what I like participating in. I know, that's no excuse for not going where your buds are. I'm a jerkoff.
I trust everyone has received their box of tunes. It's good to know they're in hands that will appreciate them as much as I have.
Sounds like just about everyone is in a funk of one sort or another. I'm happy to say the wife and kids are basically happy and healthy. The photog biz is still a struggle and I'm not meeting my goals. Not giving up, though. I'm very fortunate to be in a position where I can keep a career where I get very little money at the moment. I'm quite grateful.
But times are very, very tight. Both kids in braces, house repairs needed, etc. I was in the process of looking for a p/t job when I got the news that my dad has cancer...again. This time it's bladder cancer and it was advanced. He went to the doc as soon as he saw symptoms but with this type of cancer by the time the symptoms show up it's already been there a while.
He had surgery on 1/4 and has been going through chemo once a week...a catheter stuck up his wing-wing to inject some crap directly into his bladder. The stuff he pisses out afterward is toxic and it cant touch his skin or get on the floor. He has to wear Depends during the treatment...you can imagine what going through this is doing to his mental state. He's miserable and feels like absolute shit every single day. Statistically, there's a 60% chance of the cancer returning and if it does it's usually fatal.
So, figuring I'm going to need to go down there in the near future, I stopped looking for a job. Dad's wife, Sandy, lost both of her parents within two months at the end of '09. Now she's dealing with my Dad. I'm expecting a call at any time saying I need to come down and help.
So that's where we're at. Again, my apologies for not being on the blog at all lately. I'll try to do better.
Hang in there guys. I'm a phone call away if you need to chat.
Oh shiza.. sorry Den that totally sucks. Things dont look good now but he might just get through this. Those chances are pretty damm good relative to pancreatic cancer or mesothelioma. Hopefully he wont suffer long and he'll feel better when the treatments are finished.
As for the blog, it wasn't that much work to set it up and I dont care much for the format either. I'll look into the settings and if I cant fix it we can blog elsewhere. If it means the difference of having us all around it's worth it.
Tom, my gym has headphone inputs on every single cardio machine with 6-8 stations available. When your doing your cardio you dont have to be thinking about it, just doing it. BTW golf is not exercise LOL!.
I meant 6-8 TV stations, there are 50 or so TVs. Find a high-end gym with audio visual benefits (other visual benefits too!) and sign the fuck up. If it costs too much.... then good! NOTHING is more important then your health.
The reason this isn't working so well is because we're trying to use a blog as a social network.
Tammy suggests giving ning.com a try. It's a social networking site where you can set up your own network and invite people to join. I'll try to set one up for us this weekend. Worse thing that could happen is it doesn't work out.
As for TVs in the gym, Tammy belonged to one down the road. Every day she would complain about having to watch Fox News while she worked out.
29 comments:
so is this forum dead too??
No pun intended?
I'd be around more often if the other guys were. Den and Tom dont post much here and I think Lemmie cant figure out how to log on... he he... I was checking it every day. Now one dissapointment a week seems more like it for me. Hell, I'd like to take a crack at some more projects, I'm bored musically, realizing now the only thing I did actively was make podcasts.
I feel the same. And can see how Lemmie has problems with the log in. I had a lot of trouble and still struggle to create a new post.
I would suggest we discuss politics but that would scare Matt away too. He he he.
I try to post a comment to every new post but sometimes I have nothing worth typing.
I just don't have anything to offer musically right now. I'm practicing once a week with this start-up, trying to get ready for festival season, but having a really difficult time staying motivated. I've been giving serious thought to quitting playing altogether.
As for non-musical endeavors, some of us (like me) turn to facebook where there's a bigger audience.
As long as you dont take yourself seriously when you write that Tom, all will be fine. I bet you cant count the number of times you said you'd quit forever and then made some serious gains. I've done the same, it comes with the talent I guess. All we need is one spark and boom... the machine starts up again. Taking breaks is healthy, getting down on it sucks.
I'm concerned about Rob and Mel. Hopefully we can make it easier for them, I'll check into it.
I suggest one of us take the time each week to post something fun, music or otherwise....politics?
I guess it's ok when something big happens but otherwise I'm finding it a rather boring endless bickering out there.
Matt you should post what you sent me via email... that shit is HOT
I was being serious. I'm not enjoying music anymore. I don't enjoy listening to it, I don't enjoy playing it. It doesn't move me anymore.
I had actually quit before this whole Javelin thing happened. I owned one acoustic guitar that I never played. I often wish I'd never started back up.
I understand the lack of desire to play because when I sit behind the kit I can't do the things I'd like to be able to do or even the things I used to do well because of lack of talent or just practice. As Jeff said, as long as I don't take it serious it doesn't bother me too much. It's easy for me because most of my time is spent with family and work leaving little idle time.
I can't, however, relate to the lack of desire to listen. I've recently found more time to listen and thanks to Den's contribution and some real good suggestions from Matt, I've experienced a surge so to speak.
I still fantasize about bringing my kit to the house when the kids start moving out so that I can play when I get the urge or maybe getting a small electric set like Matt suggested. Maybe someday, sighhhhhhhhh.
wow, tom...i mean, i'm in as bad a funk as i've ever been in, but NEVER have i considered giving up playing or listening...i have music in my head even when there's none playing...it's a refuge for me...
that being said, everyone is different...and as a fellow bass player, i know how boring it can be playing/practicing that instrument by yourself...maybe that's it? hmmmmmmmm...all i can suggest is that you do what FEEL you should do...not what you "need" to do...not what you "should" do...at our age, i think we all know that regret is a BITCH! fortunately, music is something that you come back if you decided to take a break from it...
jba...more projects would be fun, but i'm way too self-absorbed and funked up...there are some enormous changes on the horizon for matt the bass player and committing to anything at this point is impossible...
as for the stuff i emailed jba...i am digging it pretty hard...i've got two different 4-song EPs from the band and i'm suitably impressed...even my musically famous friend/teacher jim tullio was digging on it...i'll post something by the end of the week...
Matt, what's going on with the business? Tammy tells me you're looking to merge with someone else? She gets more Facebook time than I do.
my business is all but dead..the extended drought in bank lending has killed 4 potential projects, two that i was working on, and 3 that were under construction...i spent my december as a driver's assistant with UPS, which meant i drove around a golf cart in high-end custom home development and delivered everyone their xmas gifts...it was very cold and many days it rained, which sucked out loud...these days i'm making extra cash as a medical guinea pig, but that runs out in a couple of weeks...SO...
i met with a firm out of state...they are looking for an experienced and mature sr. architect, and they like the idea of me bringing my hospitality clientele to give them another niche market...they currently do airports, schools, healthcare/hospitals, and some local gov't buildings...
i go back for a second meeting in mid-february, this time with all of the owners (two partners, who i already met with, and two other guys with limited ownership stake)...it was a positive first meeting and i think the only obstacle is going to be salary...i'm optimistic...
for those who are curious, the "state" is not one that any of you live in, though i have talked with a firm in FL that looks to be a long shot...
this is a big part of my funk, but certainly not all of it...
I knew things were bad, but holy fuck!
yes...holy fuck just about sums it up...
Hang in there (not a cruel attempt at humor) dude. You have the tools to adapt to the economy and YOU WILL rebound. The one thing to try to focus on is never loose hope and submit to despair.
Now for the humor - any chance the medical experimentation is for weight loss drugs?
Sorry about all that Matt I wish there was something I could do. However, it seems you have some good options on the horizon which is a lot more than most people have. I think you've done what you had to do, and with good judgement.
Being the hard working guy you are, in the end, all this will make sense and you'll be in a better place, eventually understanding why it all went down as it did, and you'll actually be thankful!
As far as your other "funk", missing JBAhole and doing a 10 day mental detox tour in NJ was enough for me to know you got some serious issues going down. If there is anyway I can help, even if it's just talking or whatever, I will always have time for you.
As far as the ever enigmatic Tom: Is it possible your sate of mind is related to the short days this time of year? I can promise you this is only temporary, you'll be back.
PS: Matt, I would have posted the link you sent but didn't know if it was "proprietary" at this point
Tammy gets the seasonal thing, so she's pretty down these days too.
Mine seems more permanent. The doc says I need three things: therapy, exercise, and drugs. I can't afford therapy and I hate exercise. And I'm afraid I'm asking too much of my drugs.
i can't even afford beer let alone the drugs...
I'll add in my current challenges:
I'm in pretty much constant pain. I've gone down hill fast starting in Dec and now I'm taking 3-4 Lortabs a day and not able to sleep through the night. I have degeneration of my C5 disc in my neck (there is bone growing into the nerve) and it’s causing pain in my shoulder and arm and constant “pins and needles” in my index finger and thumb. If I keep medicated it’s tolerable, otherwise I’d literally cry. I’m on a waiting list to have surgery from an endoscopic specialist in Pittsburg, but I have no idea how long it will be, hopefully within a couple of months. Until then I have to walk around basically with my chin on my chest to keep from agitating the nerve, looking more like a retard than I already do!
The good news is the surgery is pretty simple and it will be nearly an out-patient procedure with one night stay in the hospital. In the end, there will be no permanent damage and hopefully I’ll be back to normal within a couple of weeks.
Also, in the beautiful month of Dec. my boss told me he doesn’t have funding for me past Feb 1st. Imagine, 17 years of service and somebody tells you 45 days and you’re out. To make a long story short, I was freaked out for a couple of weeks and then found an opportunity with another investigator in the same department. However, it’s studying something totally different (diabetic neuropathy). I started before the holidays and was able to secure 2 years funding with the new lab. All said, I’m making the same money and learning something new. Not exactly what I had in mind scientifically, but I’ll take it, at least for now, and try to do my best in a field I basically have no interest in. However, I’m happy to have a job, and maybe I’ll grow to like it.
Jeff,
Stop taking that growth supplement and you won't have to worry about bones growing in places they shouldn't be. Hope things at C5 get worked out. My L4/L5 are doing fine since my issue 2-years ago and I actually managed to keep the exercise regiment going. Still taking the fish oil sup you recommended.
Good luck in the new field. There's no lack of diabetes issues out there so there might be some job security.
Tom, I completly agree with your doctor. My health insurance paid for psychotherapy with a co-pay of $20 or so. Your's doesn't cover it????? And if it doesn't can you switch providers?
As far as exercise, I was exactly like you 12 years ago (hated even the idea). Not only that, I was smoking 2 packs a day. Nevertheless, I started running every other day and the first month totally sucked. However, after a while when your body starts responding it becomes absolutely wonderful. Today there is no way I would consider living without it. You have to change over the water in your body and work out your cardiovas. sys. in order to feel the best you can, and you wont know what that feeling is until you stick with it for a while.
That initial 4 weeks of hell has paid off time and time again now for 12 years in every way imaginable including good sleep, good appitite, and a general feeling of strength and confidence. I'd say the first month was a VERY small price to pay.
There are so many things you can do to exercise, you should never be bored either.
This is my bid to ask that you try doing something at least 20 min every other day. Do an experiment and see what happens after the first month.
From the little red guy with the horns and pitchfork on your left shoulder..."fuck it!"
Saith the little alabaster guy with the wings and the halo on your right shoulder..."you can do it."
On the left..."shut up you pussy."
On the right..."you go to hell"
The right wins!
BURP!
"There are so many things you can do to exercise, you should never be bored either."
bicycling: boring
running: boring
walking: even more boring
weightlifting: oh so boring!
swimming: wet and boring
stairmaster: stupid and boring
golf: expensive and boring
Hey Tom,
I'm right there with you. I don't find exercise entertaining either.
What worked and continues to, for me is doing my exercises in that 1 to 2-hour period that I get most nights before bed. Usually I'm on the floor doing the stretches and core strengthening routine I was taught for my back, while the rest of the family sits on the couch munchin' on chips and snacks.
I still get to watch what's on and participate in conversations. There's no isolation and if I'm watching something interesting (Fox News or C-span) it's easy to forget how long I've been at it. Not much cardio, I admit but it's better than nothing for me.
My apologies for not being 'round the Javelin blog. My reasons are simple...I don't like it. It's too much trouble to find the last thread where a comment was left. I know JBA put lots of work into it and I do appreciate it, but I just don't like the layout. Web Forums where the most recent comment goes to the top is what I like participating in. I know, that's no excuse for not going where your buds are. I'm a jerkoff.
I trust everyone has received their box of tunes. It's good to know they're in hands that will appreciate them as much as I have.
Sounds like just about everyone is in a funk of one sort or another. I'm happy to say the wife and kids are basically happy and healthy. The photog biz is still a struggle and I'm not meeting my goals. Not giving up, though. I'm very fortunate to be in a position where I can keep a career where I get very little money at the moment. I'm quite grateful.
But times are very, very tight. Both kids in braces, house repairs needed, etc. I was in the process of looking for a p/t job when I got the news that my dad has cancer...again. This time it's bladder cancer and it was advanced. He went to the doc as soon as he saw symptoms but with this type of cancer by the time the symptoms show up it's already been there a while.
He had surgery on 1/4 and has been going through chemo once a week...a catheter stuck up his wing-wing to inject some crap directly into his bladder. The stuff he pisses out afterward is toxic and it cant touch his skin or get on the floor. He has to wear Depends during the treatment...you can imagine what going through this is doing to his mental state. He's miserable and feels like absolute shit every single day. Statistically, there's a 60% chance of the cancer returning and if it does it's usually fatal.
So, figuring I'm going to need to go down there in the near future, I stopped looking for a job. Dad's wife, Sandy, lost both of her parents within two months at the end of '09. Now she's dealing with my Dad. I'm expecting a call at any time saying I need to come down and help.
So that's where we're at. Again, my apologies for not being on the blog at all lately. I'll try to do better.
Hang in there guys. I'm a phone call away if you need to chat.
shit den...i am so sorry to hear about your father...i'll keep him and his wife in my thoughts...
i understand about the blog, but wish you would show up on occassion...i've always enjoyed the interaction...
jeff/tom...is there a setting or something that will allow the most recent comment to show up at the top??
Oh shiza.. sorry Den that totally sucks. Things dont look good now but he might just get through this. Those chances are pretty damm good relative to pancreatic cancer or mesothelioma. Hopefully he wont suffer long and he'll feel better when the treatments are finished.
As for the blog, it wasn't that much work to set it up and I dont care much for the format either. I'll look into the settings and if I cant fix it we can blog elsewhere. If it means the difference of having us all around it's worth it.
Tom, my gym has headphone inputs on every single cardio machine with 6-8 stations available. When your doing your cardio you dont have to be thinking about it, just doing it. BTW golf is not exercise LOL!.
I meant 6-8 TV stations, there are 50 or so TVs. Find a high-end gym with audio visual benefits (other visual benefits too!) and sign the fuck up. If it costs too much.... then good! NOTHING is more important then your health.
The reason this isn't working so well is because we're trying to use a blog as a social network.
Tammy suggests giving ning.com a try. It's a social networking site where you can set up your own network and invite people to join. I'll try to set one up for us this weekend. Worse thing that could happen is it doesn't work out.
As for TVs in the gym, Tammy belonged to one down the road. Every day she would complain about having to watch Fox News while she worked out.
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